Fuck appropriateness.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
