so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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