that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
