Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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