he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
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