so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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