I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
