So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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