Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
