2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
