Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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