Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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