i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Soap is not a condiment
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
