I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
