She's JV to your varsity
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
