I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
