She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
