I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
