You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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