I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
