i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
