Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
