Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he wants to bone in the snuggie
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
