New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
