He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
