i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
