shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize