Having a random hookup so left but love u
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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