so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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