To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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