one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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