I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
