So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
