I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Found your dick twin last night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
