I wish my penis had an off switch
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
