I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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