Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
