So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
