It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
