Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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