using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
