who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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