I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
