I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
