My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
