how can u be prego again
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
