great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
