He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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