Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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