He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
